Eternal Sorrow
by silversparks909
Summary: A girl sits in her room as she screams in anguish. She is losing everything. She seems to be forgotten about by her friends. No one even notices that she never really laughs or smiles anymore. Darkness is taking a hold of her heart and she is accepting it with open arms and a sadistic smile. Rated T for self harm and dark thoughts.
1. Cries from the Night

**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK this contains self harm and thoughts of suicide. This was edited by multiple people but I, Silver, typed it and made the plot. There will be OOCness in this by some characters but please bear with it.**

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****It hurts. It hurts********  
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A girl sits on her bed in her room alone and in the dark, curled up in a ball. It is a night where you know the stars are in the sky but they are unseen, covered by the clouds. She thinks to herself, _Why is this happening to me? _This girl's once sunkissed skin is now pale and her smooth face is now blotchy from crying for such a long period of time.

A few minutes later she pulls herself together and stands up. She wipes the tears from her face and goes inside her bathroom. She looks in the mirror. Her blonde hair has changed from a soft fountain of curls to a stringy tangled mess. Her eyes are red from crying and her cheeks have wet tear tracks.

"I look as terrible, as usual," she croaks. Her mouth feels as dry as a desert. She splashes cold water on her face and leaves her room, not bothering to close the door. She shuffles down the corridor of her home. She quietly passes her grandmother's room to prevent waking her. She silently goes down the stairs into the kitchen and gets a glass of water to hydrate her scratchy throat. She then heads up to her room once more and sticks her hand under her bed. She finds what she is searching for: a brown box.

She opens it and dumps out the contents: a picture of four girls, razor, and a hair curler. She picks up the picture, the girls in the picture are a redhead with pink eyes, a raven-haired girl with jade green eyes, a brunette with purple eyes, and herself. There are also names under each of the people: the redhead is Momoko, the raven is Kaoru, the brunette is Usagi, and she is Miyako. She puts down the picture and picks up the curling iron. Miyako plugs in the curling iron and rolls up her sleeve. She takes the razor and quickly slides it across her arm, giving her some cuts. Blood rushes out through the cuts. But she does not feel it at all, unlike the first time she did this, when it hurt and she cried from the pain. She does this four more times before taking the now hot curling iron. She then jabs her arm six times with the curling iron, leaving various burn marks on her arm. As she thinks back to what drove her to do this harm to herself, she cries. Her best friends slowly stopped talking to her to the point where, in the hallways at her school, they wouldn't even acknowledge each other. They got new friends and she slowly felt replaced. Then _they_ showed up. Every day, they have been standing by her locker after school, waiting for her. Once they finally gave up and left, she snuck by and retrieved what she needed. After everything they have done to her, she has been very cautious to prevent them from seeing her.

Finally, after crying for another hour, she gives in to drowsiness and falls into a sleep full of horrible nightmares of the past.

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**Ok the next chapter will be longer probably. And I am sorry for not updating I have been moving and focusing on my school work. R&amp;R.**


	2. Tear of Blood

**In this chapter I am going to introduce "them." I'm going to give "them" English names. I apologize but this will have major OOCness. Read the bottom important message.**

_Last Chapter;_

_She takes the razor and quickly slides it across her arm, giving her some cuts. Blood rushes out through the cuts. But she does not feel it at all, unlike the first time she did this, when it hurt and she cried from the pain. She does this four more times before taking the now hot curling iron. She then jabs her arm six times with the curling iron, leaving various burn marks on her arm. As she thinks back to what drove her to do this harm to herself, she cries. Her best friends slowly stopped talking to her to the point where, in the hallways at her school, they wouldn't even acknowledge each other. They got new friends and she slowly felt replaced. Then they showed up.  
_

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Soon after Miyako fell asleep she wakes up due to her alarm clock going off. She slams her fist on the clock and starts to get ready for school as if last night never happened. She showers and gets dressed. She is wearing a some black jeans and a black t-shirt with the word 'dead' on it in red, with a black hoodie, and wears her hair down with a slight curl at the edges. After getting forgotten she decided to ditch the skirts and wear jeans and shorts. She only wears her pigtails once in a while but mostly wears her hair down. She sometimes dyes her bangs blue or black. She walks down the stairs and made her grandma and herself a simple breakfast bacon and eggs. This reminds her of Kaoru whose favorite food is bacon and eggs. She does not cry because she is used to pain and the feeling of emptiness. She leaves the food for her Obasan on the table and walks to school.

Crime has been low in the city and now focus on school. But she couldn't hang out with the others while crime fighting due to this. She still goes to the lab, and so do the others just never at the same time. As she gets to school and approaches her locker she sees "them," The ones who cause her so much pain. Thier names were Ashley, Himeko, and Rifka they at first were really unpopular and bratty but ever since they started bullying her they rapidly started getting more popular. She froze for a second before walking over to her locker. She is not going to let them make her already miserable day get any worse. Once they see her they begin attacking her with insults.

"Oh look the bitch is here". Himeko says with her annoying nasally voice. She tries to seem strong by not letting them see her pain.

" Wow you don't have anything better to do than bother me. Get a life whores" she

firmly say. A look of anger goes across their faces and Miyako enjoys their shade of red.

"Well at least we have friends you loner. Maybe you should shrivel up and die somewhere. Then no one would have to see you ugly face" Himeko screeches. She don't say anything at first, her bangs cover her eyes. After a few seconds she speaks in a dark tone " You should watch what you say maybe one day someone will kill themselves because of what you say." She looks them all dead in the eye. Her eyes are dark and cold not what most are used to. They all take a step back fearfully. "Maybe someday it will be you in that position." She then walks away to class with a dark aura around her. The crowds part as she walks by like she is Noah walking through an ocean.

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_**Time Skip to the end of school.**_

Once she ends schools has decides she wants to get home as soon as possible. Throughout the day they were insulting her and making her feel worse. No matter how much dodging she does she cannot avoid them. She goes to her locker, luckily they aren't there so she runs to her locker and gets ready to go home. She runs home eager to get home after her daily harassment. Once she gets home she finds a note it states Miyako I have to go to see a friend who has a illness. I'll be gone for about a week. There's food in the fridge so you don't have to cook any dinner while I am gone. -Love Your Obasan. Miyako starts to panic her obasan is half the reason she is in control of herself. She has to act normal around her so she does not notice her distress. Now that she is home alone she might not be able to stop her sorrow from taking hold of herself. She breathes deeply and tries to relax but ultimately fails. She after a while breaks down crying; crying because her friends haven't talked to her, crying because she feels alone and empty, crying because the things Himeko and her entourage has been saying to her. Sh cries for a while until she gets so dehydrated that cannot cry tears anymore so only sobs and sounds of agony escape her mouth. After crying until she can no more her throat is raspy and her eyelids heavy she once again slips into a slumber full of happy memories of her friends. Despite her dehydration she cries a bit in her sleep. Few of her tears are actual blood because she has no more water in her system. Miyako repeats this process for about two more days. On the third day which is a bit overcast she is exceptionally depressed and after school stands on top of the school roof. She looks down from the top of the building whether or not to jump and plummet to her death. She thinks jumping is hard enough, getting the courage to jump. But falling is probably the worst part; having those last few seconds to regret, forgive, and the worse think. Thinking causes most cases of depression, being alone with your thoughts a very dangerous thing. Thoughts of doubt and hate running though you mind. She wants to jump but her human survival and doubts cause her to walk to the stairs of the roof and downstairs to the inside of the school. As she does a tear of blood slips from her eye.

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**I'm sorry if its bad I am getting this off of self experience and feelings. I'm sorry for the long update again. It takes time for me to write stories and plus I am writing many stories and chapters now.**

**Also I have started a pole if this should be a blues story of solely on Miyako.**


	3. Falling

_Last Chapter;_

_She stands on top of the school roof. She looks down from the top of the building whether or not to jump and plummet to her death. She thinks jumping is hard enough, getting the courage to jump. But falling is probably the worst part; having those last few seconds to regret, forgive, and the worse think. Thinking causes most cases of depression, being alone with your thoughts a very dangerous thing. Thoughts of doubt and hate running though you mind. She wants to jump but her human survival and doubts cause her to walk to the stairs of the roof and downstairs to the inside of the school. As she does a tear of blood slips from her eye._

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_Normal POV_

At a cafe three girls sit together discussing the behavior of their friend. Their names are Momoko, Usagi, and Kaoru

"Hey have you two noticed how depressed Miyako has been lately. It seems almost as if she just stopped being happy all together. I never see her skipping or smiling anymore," Momoko says her voice dripping with concern. Both of the other girls nod in agreement.

"Yeah she seems as if she is distancing her from everyone around her. Just the other day I saw her throwing away her fanboys letters like it was nothing. She always reads all of her fanboys letters." Kaoru says with disbelief.

"I noticed as well but I think we should talk to her and see what's wrong tomorrow." Usagi says scowling at the table as if it would give her the answers.

"I agree lets do it before school starts" Momoko states. They all nod and go to their respective homes, wondering how the next day would play out.

Miyako POV

I feel like I am being stabbed in the heart repeatedly with a dull knife. I grab my samsung galaxy s5 and open up tumblr **(I don't own tumblr)** and look up depression, suicide and self harm. I find a lot of gloomy and depressing pictures and quotes that I can relate with. Despite the fact the posts are making me feel worse I cannot cry. I feel like I ran out of tears. I decide that this isn't appeasing me. Due to being depressed all the time I feel extremely exhausted, so I decide to take a nap. Once I close my eyes I find myself plunged into darkness.

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_**Dreamscape**_

I'm falling. Falling deeper and deeper into a dark trench. Right now I'm so deep I can barely see the light that I fell from. I start hearing the voices of my classmates, people who I thought were my friends.

"She is such a ditzy." "She is such an idiot I don't know why she bothers going to school." " She is so worthless."

"She was never our friend," Usagi

"Yeah she was so annoying," Kaoru

"And a burden on our team," Momoko

"She should just die" all the voices chant.

Tears stream down my eyes. I should just die shouldn't I. I am so worthless.

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_**Normal POV**_

Miyako wakes up from her disturbing nightmare, covered in cold sweat and tears are falling from her face. She decides to continue on, so she can see her Obasan one more time and say goodbye.

_Time Skip After She Gets Ready and Leaves for school. _

Miyako is wearing a long sleeve dark blue shirt with a white cross on it and some black jeans. Miyako walks to school dreading the hurtful words that are going to be said. When she approaches the school she sees Momoko, Usagi, and Kaoru standing in front of the school . Miyako keeps her head down not wanting to see their faces. She suddenly feels bitter towards them. _They are the reason, I'm like this they left me all alone. They don't need me they want me to die just like everyone else._ In her mind she tries to find a way to think otherwise, but in a way it kind of was their fault they forgot about her like she just stopped existing (which could have happened).

As soon as they spotted her they were shocked by her attire, because they were used to seeing her in skirts and girly stuff. As soon as they got over their shock they ran over to her

"Hey Miyako what's up" Momoko says energetically. Miyako doesn't look up, instead she walks faster wanting to ignore them and get on with her already terrible day.

"Heeyyy!" Usagi exclaims. Miyako's heart clenches, _Now they want to see me after all the damage is done. _Miyako feels more bitter towards them.

"Miyako we want to talk to you about something" Kaoru says while grabbing Miyako's shoulder and turning her around to face them. Miyako's bangs are covering her face.

"_What is it?_" She says in a cold voice that made them all flinch. All of them are surprised why did Miyako sound so Miyako they knew would have skipped up to them and hugged them with a greeting. She would have said 'What guys you can tell me anything.'

"U-uum Miyako we're worried about you. You seem kind of different. Are you okay?" Momoko inquires worried and stunned at Miyako's attitude. _Of course I'm fucking different and now you're acting like you care about me tsk._

"Your _worried,_ after not talking to me for how long. I am fucking fantastic . Is that all bye-bye now," Miyako hisses with sarcasm and venom lacing every word. Miyako then stomps toward the school and enters her homeroom not wanting to deal with anymore treachery.

The other girls stood at the same place in shock, the didn't know what to do so when she stomped away they didn't stop her. What happened to her, was what the all were thinking. The sweet Miyako they knew would never do that.

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**Sorry for not updating for a while. I couldn't get on the website and then gave up. Anyway poll is up please vote so I know what to write. R&amp;R**


	4. Brink of Insanity

**Hey thanks for all the positive reviews. Also read the dreamscape it is important and I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't. Ok on to the story.**

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_Last Chapter;_

_"Miyako we want to talk to you about something" Kaoru says while grabbing Miyako's shoulder and turning her around to face them. Miyako's bangs are covering her face._

_"What is it?" She says in a cold voice that made them all flinch. All of them are surprised why did Miyako sound so Miyako they knew would have skipped up to them and hugged them with a greeting. She would have said 'What guys you can tell me anything.'_

_"U-uum Miyako we're worried about you. You seem kind of different. Are you okay?" Momoko inquires worried and stunned at Miyako's attitude. Of course I'm fucking different and now you're acting like you care about me tsk._

_"Your worried, after not talking to me for how long. I am fucking fantastic . Is that all bye-bye now," Miyako hisses with sarcasm and venom lacing every word. Miyako then stomps toward the school and enters her homeroom not wanting to deal with anymore treachery._

_**_The other girls stood at the same place in shock, the didn't know what to do so when she stomped away they didn't stop her. What happened to her, was what the all were thinking. The sweet Miyako they knew would never do that_. \**_

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Miyako stomped down the hall an enormous dark aura surrounding her. All the students parted around her, except for a group of girls who obviously didn't value their lives. Himeko and her posse approached Miyako with the purpose of making her feel like shit.

"Oh look who finally showed her fat ugly ass up," Himeko hisses acting like she owns the school. Which basically is the usual attitude Miyako loathes. Miyako stomps right past Himeko not wanting to deal with her. Himeko sticks her foot out with the intention of tripping Miyako. Miyako steps over her foot and bumps past Himeko causing her to fall down.

"I'm not in the mood so get the fuck out of my way bitch." Miyako growls daring the spoiled brat to do something stupid.

"Who the hell do you think you are tripping Himeko like that you better watch yourself." Himeko's "friend" Bree glares at Miyako. Miyako gives her a blank stare with her now icy blue eyes, which causes her to flinch.

"Maybe you should mind your own damn business before I knock your plastic nose fly off your face." Miyako says in a monotone voice. "If any of you have anything else to say, keep in mind I will make you regret it." Miyako then stomped past them leaving them with their jaws on the floor. She had _never_ completely stood up to them. All the students in the hall way stand still in shock at Miyako's behavior.

Miyako decides not to go to class so she doesn't end beating the hell out of anyone who approaches her. She heads up to the roof and lays down. She listens to the sounds around her, the soft whistling of the wind. She feels the soft wind on her face and sees the blue sky. She closes her eyes, as the calm atmosphere slowly lulls her to sleep.

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_Dreamscape Miyako's POV_

_I open my eyes and notice I'm in an ancient looking bluish circler room with a high dome on the ceiling. I hear a sound that resembles water running. I stand up noticing the sound getting louder. Suddenly a dark thick liquid flows from the ground. I feel the thick liquid surrounding my feet and rapidly climbing up to my waist. I look around for a way to escape or where the water is coming from to slow the inevitable. I slosh to the walls and feel around them for anything in a desperate attempt to find an escape, nothing no tricks, nowhere to go. Once the water reaches above my head, I float to the ceiling until I have no more energy. I struggle to reach to the surface but the thick liquid makes my struggle worthless. I sink drifting deep into the liquid, I open my eyes and see an endless white room. Figure appear in front of me I run towards them, but smack into an invisible barrier. The figures had the faces of everyone I thought would always be with me; Momoko, Kaoru, Usagi, the Professor, Ken, Poochi they all have their backs to me and were walking further and further away. _

_"__No everyone DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THIS," I scream calling out all their names but they seem to not hear me getting further away. I slam into the wall screaming and crying out their names. I crouch into a ball and have tears streaming down my face, the room shattered into a black space._

_"__You never mattered to anyone, your existence is unnecessary, unneeded. You are worthless and because of that everyone left you alone to wither in the dark and die slowly. They ignore your pain because they don't care about you. This pain all of it could have been avoided but now it's too late," a sinister voice echoes throughout the dark abyss. Images of Momoko, Kaoru, and Usagi's smiling and laughing without me, filled my mind stabbing at my heart. "All this was their fault they left you alone, they __**used **__you and discarded you once they got tired of you."_

_"__No that's not true, it isn't," I whisper shivering._

_"__It is and you know it. You were never one of them or friends with them," It continues._

_"__I was never one of them. I was never friends with them," I breathe out._

_"__They used you. Now what should you do about it, take __vengeance__. Teach them why they should have never have toyed with you. __Make__ them suffer just as they did to you. __Drown__ them in the darkness you have fallen into. Cover them in their own__**blood**__" _

_"_**_Blood, Drown, Vengeance_**_, __**make them suffer**__." __I chant wanting to make them scream and suffer just as I have._


End file.
